Los Vampiros del Mar!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the roof...

We've been talking about it all summer, and it's finally here: Piranha II: The Spawning, aka P2:tS, aka (as the Spanish preferred to call it) Piraña 2: Los Vampiros Del Mar.

This one comes to us from the director who brought us The Terminator, Aliens, and who has promised to revolutionize the cinema as we know it with his upcoming Avatar. That's right, the director who made the highest grossing film in history (Titanic) got his start on this low budget Italian-produced B-movie, getting promoted from special effects coordinator to the director's chair after the original director quit. Everybody's gotta start somewhere, right?

Of course, it's a pretty blatant attempt to continue to cash in on sea-based horror in the post-Jaws years, but by '81 the formula was getting pretty stale. Unable to top even the worst of the other copycats, or its predecessor, the surprisingly excellent John Sayles-scripted enviro-horror of the original Piranha, Cameron and the Italians followed genre convention and did what any tired horror sequel must: upped the amounts of gore, sex, and death. Oh yeah, and they gave the Piranha a genetic mutation that now allows them to fly, so you're not even safe if you can manage to get out of the water.

It's never funny when it supposed to be, but is pretty much hilarious the rest of the time. And still far better than suffering through Titanic. In fact, I think that movie might have benefitted from some carnivorous flying fish.

As usual, we'll start off with some classic animation. But before we go into the feature, we'll also take a moment for a public service message to remind everyone, as P2:tS demonstrates, that the outdoors contain many dangers. This will come in the form of perhaps the strangest 1970s educational film you've ever seen.

Bring the drinks and snacks of your choice, and if you have easy-to-transport lawn/camp chairs, feel free to bring those as well so we don't get as many dirty looks from the rest of the rooftop for monopolizing the chairs. See you there!

Le Roi est Mort

We at Dorchester Rooftop Movies have had a sad couple of weeks. We'd like to observe a moment of silence for Farrah of the feathery hair. Give a spirited HEY-O! to the dearly departed Mr. McMahon. A heartily shouted lament that Billy Mays will never be here for another indispensable product. But we're all still reeling from the shock of the fallen King of Pop. And so, we at the Rooftop Movies' Office of Programming, Pretension, and Arbitrary Decision-Making feel we would be remiss if we didn't use our unique platform to make some kind of larger tribute. As such, we must first apologize for yet another delay of the hotly anticipated screening of James Cameron's ode to toothy flying sea-dwellers (Piranha 2: The Spawning). That will, again, have to wait for another week.

Instead, this Wednesday we'll be showing Moonwalker, Jackson's 1988 companion film to the Bad album. The movie consists of a number of loosely related short films, and as such, we can't help but feel it is likely the structural basis for Robert Altman's Short Cuts, and we trust that Altman will not be stepping forward to dispute this claim. It's also a rarity, having long since gone out of print on both VHS and DVD. So when the hasty re-issue hits stores in a few weeks, you may sneer down your nose at everyone else on your block and tell them that you just attended a screening weeks ago, so no thank you very much.

In keeping with the usual tradition, the feature will be preceded by a cartoon; which in this case should hopefully be an episode of the Jackson 5ive animated series from the early 70s.

As usual, bring any beverages or snacks you'd like to enjoy, and keep an eye on the weather in case it's going to get chilly after dark.

Single white sequined glove optional.

IMPORTANT ADDITIONAL PROGRAMMING NOTE:
Prior to the Jackson 5ive cartoon, we'll be showing a short film by Susan Etheridge, currently untitled, depicting how alcohol, uneven pavement, pyromaniacal boys, and illegal fireworks that bear the name HELLRAISER, are a certain recipe for disaster and near-death experiences. It's sort of a public service message. With fire. The director and many of the actors will be in attendance for a post-screening Q&A.

First night, Take 3 (THE GATE!)

After our first two attempts at a rooftop movie were foiled by inclement weather, we've regrouped, and developed a three-pronged strategy to finally have a successful night:

1. Ditch Spaceballs. The gods are obviously angry at Mel Brooks. They must have seen Robin Hood: Men in Tights and Dracula: Dead and Loving It at full price; I'd be pissed, too. So with apologies to Mr. Brooks, you'll have to get your schwartz on on your own time.

2. Sneakiness. By sending this evite out semi-last minute, hopefully, the forces of raininess will be unable to marshal their troops against us.

3. Accuweather. Actually checking the weather in advance and scheduling on a night where there's virtually no chance of rain might help, too. We've done so this time.

So join us on this Wednesday night for a screening of a classic bit of 80s horror, The Gate, in which a bunch of kids accidentally unleash the forces of Hell via a hole in their backyard left over after a tree is removed. I like to think of it as a horror version of the cross-breeding of The Goonies and Home Alone. Less Culkin, less Chunk, more demons. Also, the feature film debut of Stephen Dorff.

Same schedule and pointers as usual apply: bring a few drinks, any snacks you want, and we'll get started with a classic cartoon as soon as it's fully dark out and then move on to the feature.

PS- For those who were looking forward to Piranha 2, we're saving that for another week.

PPS- It's been brought to my attention that this film is currently scheduled for a 3-D remake directed by Alex Winter, who you may remember from such roles as the vampire with a really bad mullet in The Lost Boys. Consider this screening your preparation for seeing the remake.

Rooftop Movies Strike Back: The Schwartz is Strong

Things were touch and go for a little while there for the start of season three of rooftop movies at the Dorchester: our projector was repossessed over the winter (some might say "Indian gifted", but those people would be culturally insensitive assholes, now wouldn't I..er...they?). That was a dark, dark day, indeed. I'm sorry if we ever expressed any doubt that the movies might not happen, for I knew this was a tradition that was irrepressible and essential: hence I went out and found a replacement projector that no one can take away. And I found it, as the TV man says, on eBay.

See, I'm firmly committed to every American's god given right to watch movies in the out of doors with a cold beer in hand. If I might quote one Chris Klimek upon the news that a new projector had been procured, "America, Fuck Yeah!". I couldn't let you all down; it'd be unpatriotic.

Weather permitting, the lights go down and the screen comes up on a third summer up on the roof on Thursday of next week for anyone who cares to join us. We'll be screening a crowd pleaser for the first time out, Spaceballs. Please feel free to recite lines along with the movie like you're back in your parents' basement watching it in middle school. Or was that just me? We'll likely move things into more oddball territory next time out with James Cameron's auspicious debut directorial effort, Piranha II. Bring snacks, bring beer, and bring a blanket, as it can get chilly up there after sundown in early and late summer.

EDIT: Due to impending rain tonight, we're postponing until next week.

EDIT 2: Make-up date rained out as well! Curses!

You got a real pretty mouth.

August sort of got away from us there, what with vacations and beach trips and such, but we're ready to get some more movies in on the roof before the weather starts turning too cold. After many requests for this during discussions of a tubing trip in West Virginia earlier this summer, the next selection this Friday will be Deliverance.

In John Boorman's 70s classic, the director has a great deal to say about the dwindling opportunities in modern society for men to be men, the reshaping of the beauties of nature by technology, and what happens when good, wholesome, small-town folks are confronted with the arrogance of East Coast ivory tower urban elitists.

Which is to say, hot man-on-man hillbilly sexual assault.

The implications for this election season are clear. We'll be up on the roof staking out a spot as early as 7-7:30, so feel free to show up anytime after that with your beverage of choice. We'll get things started around 9. First up will be something from the Looney Tunes library, very likely featuring Porky Pig, if you see where we're going there. Feature presentation to follow.

On the rooftops of Gotham...

As mentioned at the last movie night, and to some of you in the time since then, we're going to celebrate the release of the new Batman movie this weekend by doing a rooftop screening of the old Batman movie. No, not the old Adam West Batman movie, nor the old George Clooney Batman movie (even though everybody loves the Clooney), but the (3 year) old Nolan/Bale Batman movie, Batman Begins. I know a lot of folks are scheduled to see The Dark Knight on Saturday, so hopefully a bunch of you can turn up for this.That said, I know that there are a number of other things going on for various people that night, so be sure to let us know if you can come or not...if it looks like attendance is going to be lackluster, we may scuttle the screening, but we'd like to do it if possible...

ROAD HOUSE!

Long before this year's rooftop movie season had arrived, we decided that a night devoted to one of the cinema's, nay, western culture's brightest stars was in order. We'd heard that the creative powerhouse that is Patrick Swayze had been stricken with a horrible malady, and it seemed only right to pay tribute to the icon whose performing prowess is unmatched in the varied fields of song, screen, dance, and general kicking of ass.

With an oeuvre as varied as Swayze's, though, what film to choose? For Swayze the lover, there's Dirty Dancing, or Ghost. For Swayze the fighter, there's Point Break, or Next of Kin. Or maybe we further showcase his range with Swayze the transvestite (To Wong Foo...) or Swayze the pedophiliac motivational speaker (Donnie Darko). Or maybe Swayze the singer, in which case we could simply run an endless loop of his smash hit romantic single "She's Like the Wind". So many choices. While we were sort of hoping for a two-sides-to-every-Swayze double feature of Dirty Dancing with Point Break, because of the rooftop closing time of midnight, there is simply not enough darkness to manage a double feature with daylight lasting as long as it does now.

So we were forced to decide what movie would contain the broadest range of Swayze's best qualities in one film. By that measure, the choice was simple: Road House. Swayze as lover, fighter, philosopher, bouncer, and ass-baring stone cold hottie. He will totally throw your ass out of the bar if you step out of line, and he can quote Kierkegaard while he's half-nelsoning your sorry tuchus down to the pavement.

And we're quite certain that any man that can do this, can beat cancer with one lean, well-muscled arm tied behind his back.

So come out for Independence Day eve, and get a head start on celebrating our nation's birthday by celebrating the All-American onscreen virility that only the Swayze can bring. The founding fathers totally approve of a well-reasoned ass-kicking. As usual, bring the tasty beverage of your choosing to enjoy atop the Dorchester roof, and we'll get things started with a classic bit of Warner Bros. animation, and maybe, just maybe, a special treat for you kiddies before the main event. Entertainment to start around 9pm, but feel free to show up earlier, as we'll be up there staking out a spot well before dark.

Rooftop Movies return...on Friday the 13th!

Rooftop movies are back! As it happens, our first night back atop the Dorchester is on a Friday the 13th, so we're taking advantage by showing Friday the 13th, part 4 - the one with Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover!

The movie will begin around 9pm, but feel free to show up earlier. We'll show an old cartoon, drive-in style, before the feature. We'll probably be hanging out on the roof from early on in the evening in order to stake out a good spot with room for everyone who's coming.

Last Rooftop movie of the year: The Dude Abides

The temperatures are dropping, and this may be the last warm week before it's too cold to hang out on the roof at night, so this week we're going to screen what may be the last rooftop movie until next year...we promise we'll start earlier in the summer so we can get more movies in before the weather turns next time around.

Anyway, for what may be the grand finale (barring some early October indian summer), we'll be showing The Big Lebowski on Wednesday night. White Russians will be mixed for anyone who's so inclined, and get things started around 9pm.

See you then...

Rooftop Rialto, Part 3: Buckaroo Banzai

More rooftop movie watching fun this week...come out to catch the adventures of everyone's favorite physicist, neurosurgeon, Samurai, rock star, jet car driver and comic book hero as he saves the world from certain doom (someone saving the world from certain doom seems to be developing into a theme for the rooftop movies). That's right, it's The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension! We'll also have a classic cartoon before the movie, and, if you're all very good, there may be the potential for a special super-secret world premiere just as exciting as the debut of Susan's documentary last time around.

That's this Thursday, Sept. 6, and we'll get things started at 9pm.

Rooftop Rialto, Part 2: Who You Gonna Call?

Our first showing of a movie on the rooftop of the Dorchester (Flash Gordon a couple of weeks ago) went so well, we're doing it again. This time, it's Ghostbusters, which seems particularly appropriate since the last act of that one takes place almost entirely on a rooftop. At the moment, it appears the weather is set to cooperate on Thursday (August 23).

Setting up for the first time took longer than anticipated last time around, but now that we have the routine down, we should be running right on schedule, so we'll aim to start the movie at 9. Please do let us know if you plan on coming so we can be sure we have enough chairs on hand.

And, if it turns out that the Dorchester is also some sort of supernatural antenna for summoning Sumerian deities, just remember Winston's wise advice: If someone asks you if you're a god, you say yes .

Inaugural rooftop movie!

Well, it's summertime, when we try to find all the ways to do outdoors what we normally do indoors, and here's the latest variation on that theme. After much back and forth with my building's management, the power outlet on the Dorchester roof deck is finally on, which means that we can finally do what Scott and I have been talking about doing for months: show movies on the roof!

We've done a test run, and it looks like everything is in working order, so we're going to have our first screening next week. So we want YOU to come over to the Dorchester on Thursday evening next week (August 2) for a rooftop screening of Flash Gordon.

Just like Screen on the Green, we'll get started as soon as it gets dark enough, which seems to be around 9pm or so right now. Feel free to show up anytime after 8. Provided everything goes well, we'll try to do this every couple of weeks until the roof closes down or it gets too cold, which is probably the end of September/beginning of October.